Monday, June 4, 2007

Venting Before My Head Explodes

The contemptable swine, arrogant bastard truely sickens me. I realize I must be paying for some very bad thing that I've done in my past, whether it be this life or an earlier one, to be inflicted with this presence in my life. A position of superiority? Of course. Damn right I am superior to that swine. This pitiful excuse for a human being treated me like complete shit when I was pregnant. Although I was on bedrest and had two other children to care for, he did not even offer to drop by a gallon of milk, knowing that I could not get out of bed for fear of losing the baby. And, indeed, I did finally abrupt and bleed out. I made it far enough into the pregnancy that she survived because I paid people to take care of the household things. He did not one single thing for me. All I ever heard from him was sniveling about how he felt unhappy and upset because he was powerless. How he felt angry and betrayed by me becoming pregnant, as if he had nothing to do with it. This arrogant self-centered bastard actually had the nerve to express his displeasure that I did not consult him about her name. After he treated me like complete shit, I should call him up and ask him what he wanted to name her? He is obviously so completely selfish and self-centered that his entire vision of the universe is skewed beyond reality. I do not ask him for child support. He never wanted her and couldn't force me to have an abortion. So, I don't think it is fair for me to take money from him. But, I do think he is obligated to stay the fuck away from me and my baby. The only reason his self-centered ass even bothers to make noise about visiting her -- and I can count on one hand how often that has occured -- is because the subhuman person he is in reality doesn't match the puffed up vision of himself he carries inside, and the reality of who he is makes him feel uncomfortable. Well -- there's something we have in common. The reality of him makes me uncomfortable, too.

No comments: