Friday, May 18, 2007

Living In Interesting Times...

Oddly enough, I find that not only am I personally living in interesting times, but it seems that the nation is, as well.

As for myself... wow. Many changes.. some sad, some glad, all chaotic. My mother passed away in September of 2006. The baby I wrote here a couple years ago about wanting so much, but knowing no-one suitable to assist in the creation of... she is here, arriving just before Christmas last year.

Very difficult pregnancy, on a variety of levels. She was an unexpected blessing, welcomed only by me and my family. The biological contributor was furious, though, obviously, he could have taken steps to prevent conception. He referred to her as a tragedy, he reminded me that abortion was an option (maybe for him murdering a child is an option, but not for me).

I learned important things about the biological contributor (aside from his willingness to murder what he found to be an inconvenient child) during the period that followed, and am grateful that I didn't have to invest a huge amount of my time or emotion only to find out it was wasted on an unkind man, one without compassion or honor, one lacking in some of the most fundamental elements of humanity. Nope, I found that out pretty quickly, ha ha ha, and while it was, admittedly, emotionally bruising (or maybe it was my pride that was bruised, lol), it certainly wasn't devastating. I'm so grateful for my beautiful child that I regard the hurts and humiliations experienced during my association with the biological contributor to be a small price to pay. Very small, indeed. It was worth it.

The pregnancy itself took place during the time that my mother was passing away and from 19 weeks on, I was on complete bedrest due to bleeding. Thank God, I work from home. I had a severe abruption 6 weeks early, and nearly died. After an emergency C-section, we spent less than a week in the hospital. She came home at 4 pounds and 7 ounces. She is lovely, happy, strong and healthy.

Last year, I had another addition to the family, a Great Dane puppy. He is so wonderful that I got another one from the same breeder this past February. Let me tell you, my home is secure. My boys make sure that visitors mind their manners.

And, I've had visitors that needed reminding. My older girls' father showed up out of the blue after 5 years of absence. He seems to have disappeared again, which is fine with me. It seems to be a direct result of a certain lack of appreciation for the rather specific personal boundaries I insisted he respect. Reconciliation is simply not an option. Not now, not ever.

As for the nation... Again, wow. The rapid slide into naked, blatant fascism is stunning to witness. The PATRIOT Act, The Military Commissions Act of 2006, more than 700 Fuck What The Law Says signing statements by the Decider, King Not Satisfied To Just Be President George, the refusal to impeach the Bush-Cheney war crime crew, hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis dead in an illegal and immoral war, the neo-con war drums beating for Iran (they say it's to prevent nukes, but it's really to prevent a switch to the Euro), familiarity with the Constitution, particularly with the 2nd and 4th Amendments listed by the FBI as indications that an individual may be a domestic terrorist, the dollar losing its worth, the economy on the verge on total collapse, right along with the dollar, fuel prices soaring... the list goes on and on and on. It is a time for preparation, as the future looks like it will be challenging.

No comments: