Sunday, February 6, 2005

Taking Deep Breaths...

...and trying to control myself. I really feel like I want to snap, have a crying. kicking, screaming fit. First day of the cycle that tells me yet another egg wasted and I want to kick the recently-demoted-from-compaƱero-to-tenant's door and shout obscenities as I demand to know how he dares to deny me what I want so much -- a baby.

But, being the grown and responsible woman that I am, I will do none of that. Nope, I will be civil. Calm. Impersonal. Focus on business. The benefits of the landlord-tenant relationship. The business of writing. I will focus on completing the work that I am now so far behind in that it will take immense and exhausting effort to get caught up. I just can't make myself give a damn about any of it, to tell the truth.

However, I did pick up one assignment that I will give a damn about and, in fact, will enjoy to the fullest. I will be writing about the Mayan calendar and its associated mysteries and prophesies for another Disinformation Guide... (I had an essay published in last year's Under The Influence: A Disinformation Guide to Drugs)

I really feel like shit today.

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