Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Hola Peoples...

Another lovely day begins... though, I'm not quite sure that is the best word for it, as I haven't slept yet. The children and I got caught in a torrential December downpour on the night before Christmas Eve. Drenched to the skin and outside for 45 minutes... Needless to say, we all got sick. That, and deadlines, completely turned around our sleeping and waking cycle. One of these days soon I'll just have to tough it out, stay up through the clock and push us into sleeping nights again. Though, I can't really say I miss much about these too-short, too-cold winter days.

I feel really good, despite the chest-burning cold and a decided rift between my more-than-friend-less-than-boyfriend and myself. Companero is the word I would choose for him... (and yes, I know the tilda or squiggle belongs over the 'n' in that word, but alas, I'm unsure as how to make it happen...)

I feel really good because the New Year is almost here... anything is possible in January. The year just stretches out before me, the possibilities seem endless. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and its direction.

I turned 38 this year and I want one more baby mas que nada. (A significant source of conflict between mi companero and I). I've prayed for two years now... but haven't met the right person. I've researched the do-it-yourself clinics and haven't ruled that option out. But, it will have to be soon... time is not on my side. Nor is finance, in regard to that option.

I've decided (again, but for real this time!) to just lay the whole thing in God's hands and accept the decision/my fate peacefully. Gratefully. If the right person or a flood of cash (for the clinical version) does not appear this year, I shall accept it as a sign that my baby days are over and that I should proceed forthwith to the next phase of my life.

Fortunately, I know exactly what the next phase is. I've already begun to lay the groundwork, to build the foundation.

This year has been an eye-opener for me. The CPS issue pushed me into an awareness that I did not have before. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I've become so much more aware of the myriad of ways that our civil liberties are being eroded daily, in a variety of ways and settings. Our Constitution is an unused relic of the past. And, like most history these days, it is not even being taught to school children. I firmly believe that we are living in a pre-fascist (and, yes, I do know what the word means) state.

Resistance. Freedom. These are my personal and professional goals -- to promote, teach and live resistance and freedom.

Until Next Time...

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